“How do you do it?” my friend asked one morning as we sipped our coffee. “You’ve been through so much—divorce, job layoffs—but you’re still so cheerful. Seriously, what’s your secret?”
She wasn’t wrong—life had thrown me some tough punches. Within five years, I’d ended a marriage and lost not one but two jobs. By all accounts, I had every reason to be bitter or burned out. But I wasn’t. I still felt hopeful. Energized, even. I looked forward to each new day as if it were a fresh start full of possibilities.
Her question got me thinking: Why am I still so optimistic? And more importantly, can anyone else learn to be this way, too?
What Is Optimism, Anyway?
The word optimism comes from the Latin word optimus, meaning “best.” That’s the heart of it—an optimist tends to believe that the best is yet to come, even when life doesn’t go according to plan.
It’s not about pretending bad things don’t happen. It’s about choosing to believe that even in hard times, there’s something good just around the corner.
Take my layoff, for example. It could’ve crushed me. But instead, it pushed me to finally launch my own business—something I’d been dreaming about for years. What looked like a dead end became a detour to something better.
The Science Behind Staying Positive
Believe it or not, optimism isn’t just “good vibes.” Science backs it up.
Research from the field of positive psychology shows that optimistic people tend to have better mental health, less stress, and even stronger immune systems. One study even found that optimists are less likely to have heart attacks and more likely to live longer.
In short? That sunny outlook is doing more than just lifting your mood—it might be boosting your health.
Your Inner Voice Shapes Your World
Here’s the big difference between optimists and pessimists: it’s how they talk to themselves.
Optimists believe they have a say in how things turn out. When something goes wrong, they don’t blame themselves—they look at what they can learn and do differently next time.
Pessimists tend to do the opposite. If something goes wrong, they internalize it, thinking, “It’s all my fault,” or “This always happens to me.” Even when things go right, they chalk it up to luck—something outside of their control.
But here’s the best part: you can learn to flip that script.
How to Start Thinking Like an Optimist
Optimism isn’t something you’re born with or without—it’s a mindset you can build over time. Here are a few ways to start:
Look for the good, on purpose. Every day, make it a habit to notice what’s going right instead of what’s going wrong.
Practice gratitude. Write down a few things you're thankful for each day, no matter how small.
Let go of perfection. If something doesn’t go to plan, ask yourself: “What did I learn?” instead of “Why did I mess up?”
Say “no” to negative self-talk. Would you say that to a friend? If not, don’t say it to yourself.
Believe in abundance. The world is full of opportunities—there’s plenty to go around.
Celebrate small wins. Every step forward is progress. Give yourself credit!
The Optimist’s Edge
When you choose to think positively, you’re not ignoring reality—you’re choosing how to respond to it. Optimism gives you staying power. It helps you bounce back faster. It keeps you open to possibilities you might miss if you’re stuck in doom-and-gloom mode.
It’s not about pretending everything is perfect. It’s about trusting that things can get better—and that you have the power to help make that happen.
So the next time life throws a wrench in your plans, take a breath and ask yourself:
“What could be good about this?”
“What’s next for me?”
“How can I grow from this?”
You might be surprised at the strength and joy you find in your answers.
Because of optimism? It isn’t magic.
It’s a mindset.
And it can change your whole life.
