You wake up to your husband preparing a platter of fruit and a slice of whole wheat toast for breakfast. Your wife always has a healthy dinner—lean protein and fresh veggies—ready at 6 o’clock. Your co-workers have teamed up to start a healthy lunch club. You have countless friends ready to work out at a moment’s notice. A personal trainer is programmed into the speed dial on your cell phone. Encouragement abounds. This is a healthy living utopia.
If you find support is a little bit harder to come by, though, you’re pretty normal—and potentially at a slight disadvantage. Lacking spousal and friendly support can become detrimental to your weight-loss plans if you let it. A good support system is a vital element to reaching your goals. So what can you do to ensure that you are surrounded by social support?
1. Start with your partner. Sit him or her down and explain the importance of your new goals. You could even encourage them to join you on your healthy journey. If you are lucky, your favorite person will jump on board to support you without policing your actions or making you feel bad if you slip up. Your partner should share in the excitement of your progress and encourage you when the going gets tough.
If, however, your spouse and family complain about the new healthy meals you are eating or scoff at the idea of a walk after dinner, you might be on your own. In this case, you’ll have to lead by example. When your family sees how much progress you are making, they will be inspired. Don’t let an unsupportive spouse, partner or children sabotage your dieting goals. Just because he or she wants double portions at dinner doesn’t mean that you have to give in—you just might have to look elsewhere for support.
2. Friends make a great support system. Consider discussing your goals, needs and plans with a close friend. An encouraging buddy may set up a workout schedule with you and pass on that fatty dessert after dinner in solidarity. If none of your friends are helping you strive towards your goals, try meeting them for a walk at a local park a few times each week instead of hitting the bars after work. Encourage them to attend and show up yourself every time. Even if just one friend comes, you’ll have a workout buddy that will make things easier—even if just for one day. Hopefully, they’ll see your progress and want to be involved. Once the word gets out that you are staying consistent with your workouts, going to the park or gym no matter what, they’ll come around. Another way to get support from friends is to start hosting healthy dinner parties, where everyone brings vegetables, fruits, or lean proteins, or simply share healthy recipes with one another.
Even if you can't get friends actively involved with your goals, it can be helpful to share your why with a close friend so, when struggles or setbacks arise, you have a kind ear to listen and a shoulder to lean on. Knowing you have a friend to turn to who will offer good advice or encouragement could mean the difference between quitting and staying true to your goals.
What happens if neither your partner nor your friends are supportive of your goals?
You shouldn’t give up! There are plenty of ways to connect with like-minded people who are similarly working toward health, fitness or nutrition goals, or find alternative ways to feel supported and motivated. All you have to do is get outside your comfort zone and look around:
- Consider going to weekly classes at your gym. Often, the same people come every week, so you’ll be able to make friends who will hold you accountable for attending class too. Having classes scheduled at specific times will motivate you to get to the gym more than if you just want to hop on the treadmill sometime during the week. Ask people in the class if they want to go lift weights once the class is over, or even meet up the next day for another workout.
- Check out support groups in your area. There are often groups of both men and women who meet on a weekly basis to discuss their progress, roadblocks and tips for success. In this context, you’ll also be able to give support to others, which helps you feel needed and important. You’ll be able to build relationships that branch outside of the support meetings—a healthy dinner club or Sunday afternoon tennis group might emerge!
- Support yourself by keeping a journal. Whether you write down your thoughts and progress on a weekly or daily basis, keeping a journal is a great way to visualize how far you’ve come and how you're feeling along your journey. You can look back to past entries where you’ve seen success and use it as motivation for a tough week. Of course, some weeks will be good and some weeks will be a little bit more difficult, but by keeping a journal, you’ll be able to see an overall trend of progress. It will help you realize which workouts and food choices work best for you and which ones should be left behind. Record everything, from your weight or inches lost to thoughts about how your body feels after a particularly difficult workout. Consistent journaling is a great motivator and will make goals much more attainable.
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